Celebrating small steps and lovely things...

Kelly Rae made me realize more than ever that we have to celebrate the small steps of our journey (whatever that journey may be... creative or otherwise). It's has become so clear to me that focusing on the positive parts of life, those small victories, has such a powerful way of washing away those negative voices pecking away at our self esteem and strength. "Negative Nelly" is slowing fading into the background as "Positive Polly" is making her debut... she's here, she really is.

Over the course of the last couple weeks, I have watched more and more people follow me and my journey, "like" my fan page, and email me with lovely words of encouragement.... THANK YOU!! The love that has crossed the web has been so powerful and life changing.... THANK YOU!!

I'm also striving to celebrate the "lovely things" in my life... the main thing being my husband-to-be, Joseph. I don't think you understand how amazing this man is. I've said it before, but I'll say it again... he is the most supportive and loving man a girl could ever pray for... and I did pray for him. My prayers were answered. He has always pushed me to follow my dreams, and it's because of him that I have the strength and courage to push through. I love you my Honeybush!!!

See my garden grow... until the Voles screw it all up!!!

Last year I really got into gardening, which was a little hard since I was living in a teeny tiny apartment with a 6x1 foot patio. In the heat of summer, my poor plants died of heat stroke if I didn't water them 3 times a day, which I never had time to do. But now, I have a 60x50 foot backyard with endless possibilities (and a killer landscape plan thanks to Joseph's Aunt... Hi Aunt Alaina!!!) and my new best friend, the drip system... set it and forget it!!!

In the beginning of February, I started my babies indoor from seed... I was feeling confident and optimistic. Joseph, that love of mine, built me 2 raised veggie beds and I got to work. I sowed tomatoes, cantaloupe, spinach, zucchini, bell peppers, squash, lettuce, pole beans and cucumbers. Then I took a trip to the local nursery and bought strawberries, and some more herbs. I was so pumped! I had tons of space and lots of love to see my garden grow...

My squash and zucchini plants were growing huge and lovely leaves to shelter their growing babies...



and then my veggie basket runneth over...



The cantaloupe vines started to crawl over the bed edge, searching for more space to roam...



and then I started to notice new cantaloupe babies every day...



My tomatoes were taller than I was...



My pole beans were crawling up the trellis, stretching for every inch of light...



After 3 large harvests and a week of 80 degree weather, my lettuce finally bolted, revealing delicate yellow flowers for me to admire from my kitchen window...





My garden was lush and happy...



...until the day when our first vole reared it's ugly head, and that's the day I shed my first tear over my garden. I went out one morning to check on my babies, and I noticed a couple holes, my asparagus plant was pushed over a couple inches, and my pole bean vine was dry and brittle. I was devastated!!! My mother-in-law came over the next day and diagnosed our problem... VOLES!!! What the F?!?!?!

As the days went on my zucchini and artichoke plants leaves became yellow (and then brown... *sigh*), bite marks appeared on my cantaloupes(*sigh*), and my basil and bell pepper plants shriveled and died (*sob*, tear). We had "Clark" come over and he wanted to start us on a monthly schedule to control the little varmints (ummmm, no), and then I spotted one burrowing in and out of the veggie bed... and do you know what came to mind... shotgun!!! No, I didn't shoot it (if I knew where the safety was, I probably would have), but I am investing in some guillotines. I'm done with being humane. I just want my babies back...

Fan Page Update...

Lots of new pics on the PeachHoneyLove Facebook Fan Page... hope you "like" them!!! Thanks for all the support... I have the greatest friends!!!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Peach-Honey-Love/139201776096324?v=photos&ref=mf

Midnight Cravings...

I got home from work last night opened up the refrigerator, took out a bag of shredded cheddar cheese and plopped it eagerly into my mouth, then I grabbed a handful of garlic and parmesan cheese flavored croutons and inhaled those as well… why the crazy midnight cravings? I know what you’re thinking… no, I’m not pregnant; I’m not even PMSing... I believe the wedding plans and backyard woes have finally gone to my head and the mere thought of sticking to my “Clean” diet, and resisting the temptation for some comfort food, made me incredibly angry (and yes, cheese and croutons are comfort food to me).
I’m a complete mess!!!! However, no one needs to see me standing over the sink shoveling Ben and Jerry’s down my gullet… no one wins ‘cause the next day I’m complaining to Joseph that I feel bloated and gross… and we don’t need to have that conversation… again. 57 days until the wedding… and I’m praying my sanity holds on until then.

Finding your voice through your passions...

While my “day job” added unwanted stress on my life, I continued to pack on the overtime hours in hopes of paying off my car, student loans, wedding, landscape bills, etc. etc… At the same time a friend of mine decided to cut back on her overtime and start her own business applying eyelash extensions (which look AMAZING and natural, by the way)… it was something she was passionate about and loved doing. It gave her the same additional cash without the stress of our hospital job…. and I wanted that!!! So I looked into possible taking a class on administering Botox… it was something I was somewhat familiar with, being a nurse, and something I knew I could make money doing. I got on the internet and searched for reputable companies offering certification… each class was thousands of dollars and didn’t guarantee work, and I was becoming more and more frustrated… and I wasn’t excited about starting my new endeavor, I was dreading it.It wasn’t something I was passionate about… I kidded myself into thinking extra money was going to automatically translate into happiness…


Money was never what was important…my happiness was my #1 one concern. My creative spirit was dying to be heard, and I finally realized it wasn’t going to be recognized injecting women’s faces with Botox. I started to listen to what I really wanted, and it led me to my paintbrush… and all was right with the world. Life is so much brighter!!!

Liberation...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
–Marianne Williamson

I Will Create!!!

“Courage is seeing your fear, in a realistic perspective, defining it, and choosing to function in spite of it.” –Leonard Zunin

“What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?” Interesting question, isn’t it… it hit me in the face when I read it. Another question Kelly asked us was “When was the last time you felt fearless?” The truth is I don’t remember ever feeling fearless!!! That seemed so strange to me… I’ve always remembered feeling insecure and afraid of failing. In fact, I don’t even try if I’m not positive I’ll be good at something… ridiculous but true. Joseph is always trying to get me to go to the driving range with him to “hit a bucket of balls.” I went once, hit 2 balls out of about 20, and then gave up… and I’ve never been back.

I can remember as a child hoola hooping in front of my house for hours, practicing difference tricks, and never becoming frustrated when the hoop would hit the ground. I would just pick it up and try again… when did that confidence turn into fear? The fear stops now!!! It’s time to define them, face them and LET GO… I deserve to be better!!!

MY FEARS:
I’m not good enough... You’re a talented artist with lots to share with the world!!!
I can never make enough money creating art to pay the bills…. The world is full of people who would appreciate and buy your art if you pour your heart and soul into it!!
I’m not a business woman… You can do anything you put your mind to!!!
I can’t have it all… I CAN HAVE IT ALL!!!

CREATIVITY GOALS:
- Open ETSY shop
- Go part-time at work and supplement income with art sales
- Expand blog audience
- Participate in any artistic class available
- BECOME ARTISTICALLY OPEN AND ARTISTIC!!!

My Declaration...

I'M AN ARTIST!!!!

Inspired by Kelly Rae...

I’ve been so overwhelmed with wedding plans and backyard woes that I’ve slowly felt my creative side withering… and I told myself ENOUGH!! During our Pre-Cana class this past weekend, Joseph and I had an opportunity to talk to each other about our hopes and dreams (beyond the hope of a healthy family with beautiful children… a given as far as Joseph and I are concerned). Joseph wanted to put a little more focus towards his golf game, and I wanted to concentrate on my art career… TODAY IS THE DAY!!! (hence the sudden dedication to the blog… NO MORE EXCUSES JESS!!!) I told myself there would always be a reason to not focus on my dreams, and I would always regret it if I didn’t put 100% into my happiness… it’s worth it, right? Joseph has been telling me he wishes I would paint more… that Joseph, he’s such a love…

Armed with dedication and focus, I got on the internet and visited my favorite creative chickies for an additional artistic boost… SuziBlu, Donna Downey, Ali E, and my girl, Kelly Rae. Kelly was in the midst of her “eclass,” “Flying lessons: Tips and Tricks to Help Your Creative Business Soar”… I WAS AT FULL ATTENTION!!! I immediately signed up for the class and a familiar nervous pain shot up my spine… I’m sure I’m not the only insecure mess in the art world, but it seems to completely cripple me when it rears its ugly head. That little devil on my shoulder whispers “You’re not an artist,” “You could never be a successful businesswoman”, and the popular “You can’t make a living creating.” That damn devil always ruins whatever confidence I have mustered up… Well, little guy, IT’S ENOUGH!! I’M AN ARTIST AND I CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO!!! SO SHUT UP IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY!!!

I woke up the next morning feeling revived and positive!!! It’s time for a new day…

You and Me...